Struck Before Midnight
by borderlandtvshow
Summary: AU. Immediately after Tony leaves Ziva on the tarmac in Israel, things take a turn for the worse causing Ziva to risk her own safety to be by his side.
1. Exposition & Development

**_AU. In 3 Parts. Sonata-Allegro form. Tony and Ziva. Immediately after Tony leaves Ziva on the tarmac in Israel, things take a turn for the worst causing Ziva to risk her own safety to be by his side._**

And just like that, the ground began to shake, the earth moved under his shoes and spun from its axis. Or so it felt like. Along with a damning headache associated with a painful whiplash, he is waiting between worlds.

 _I'm asking Him for one more chance. One more moment to be with her. I want more. I_ NEED _more._

* * *

 _I wake up on the cement, check my pulse. I'm alive. Then thrown back into darkness. Is this real or am I fantasizing?_

* * *

"Anyone there?" His inhalation is drenched with doubt and dread. A grad student could write his thesis on the human condition and Tony would be one of his subjects, it was _that_ absorbing.

 _What happened?_

He tilts his head side to side hearing a few pops and clicks. Tapping on the metal roof, one hundred feet up, indicates a heavy rain storm. He wants to get a good view of the area, scan it, and access it, but the only light is of the moon streaming in through a high window.

The right hand moves around on the floor, trying to get a good hold so he can balance himself to get up. One try, two tries, but his head hurts too much to try a third time. "Where am I?" He whispers to himself. Knowing he's alone for tonight.

* * *

The window fills with light and it gets brighter and brighter. Scalding hot light accompanied with unintelligible conversation. The only word he can distinguish out of the cloud of words is "Awake, awake."

"He's awake!" "Anthony."

His right hand no longer feels of hard, cold, cement, but now of cotton sheets. It was not dark and the room now had warm inviting light not from the lone illumination from a rainy night.

He's groggy, only letting his eyes open to diminutive slits. He rubs his head to find a needle hooked to tubes, taped to the vein in his hand. "What the-"

Someone by his bed side rubs a hand over his hair, it feels nice. "Where am I?"

He can see it's a hospital but all he remembers is saying goodbye and stepping on a plane… everything is fuzzy and his recall is less than horrible.

A doctor and two nurses appear from the doorway, "Anthony, glad to see you up. Finally."

A nurse came to click a few buttons on a machine he was hooked up to, "You're wife is here."

"What?" His mind was spinning circles. Wife? Who? How? His mouth is suddenly dry. The nurse hands him a glass of water from one of those plastic pitchers. He then notices that both the nurse and the doctor had a German accent. "Where-," he wants to make a move, stretch, look around, something.

The doctor pulls out his pen and pricks both of his feet. "Ow! What was that for?"

The doctor says with absolute solemnity, "You were in a crash, Anthony."

"When?"

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Um, two?"

"Good. Now repeat after me?"

"1, 2, 3, 6, 89, 567,3"

"1, uh, 2,3, 6?, 89…something, 3?"

"Good enough." The doctor looks down to his pad, writes something, and then has a minute conversation with the two nurses. He adjusts his glasses, scanning the man on the bed. "Do you know how long you've been asleep?"

"No," he grunts, putting his head back on the soft pillow. "That's why I asked."

The doctor tells him to follow his finger in different directions, then to pull on his hands. After checking his eyes with a small white flashlight to check pupil dilation, Tony knows something _bad_ really has happened. He just doesn't know what.

"You said I was in a crash. With my car? Or.." He's remembering the plane after someone hurt his heart.

Tony takes a sip of the cool water then notices the sign mounted on the wall, he can see it from the window to the hallway. It's in German, French, and English. He sees the doctor, middle-aged, metal framed glasses, and dark brown eyes. He is reminded of her when he looks at them. "I…I was in a plane crash?"

"Yes."

"Yesterday… I was going back to D.C." The doctor is waiting for more. So he continues, "I'm somewhere in Europe. Germany?"

"Very close. Linz, Austria. I believe is how you say our country in America." Tony's mouth opens wide just like his eyes. "You have been here in this suite since the incident. "

"Hospital?"

"Krankenhaus der Barmherzigen Schwestern. I believe your wife has been here since then as well."

He has so many questions but this one voice breaks him through all of the confusion, the doctor summons someone from across the room. And out of the view of the nurses, she is here. With him. "Ziva?"

Her eyes are watery, a sad smile graces her features. "Tony. I should have never let you get on that plane."

 _"Oh my God_." He mumbles to himself. "How long?"

She exchanges a look with the doctor before turning her attention back to him. "Eighteen days." She sees him gasp and grab at his chest. Honestly, he was choking on a very large pill that had to be swallowed.

 _This is my actuality; no longer a fearful reverie_.

"Tony, you woke up a few times but fell right back to sleep. I mean, I would have, too." No doubt she would go back into slumber if she was in his position. The brain needed time to heal along with the multiple cuts to his legs and chest.

The doctor nods to both of them. "I'll give you two sometime to. _Process_ things." Then he instructs Tony to still be awake when he returns to run some more tests. Tony wonders to himself for a brief moment about what gift basket the doctor would like after he's sent back home. This man definitely deserves it and, also, he's reminding him of a 1980's Americana film.

"I've been in a coma for over two weeks?" _No way._ "How did it crash?"

"The plane flew into a large flock of birds. Lost an engine. The pilot used a river for some resistance to slow it down. But, it couldn't save everyone. I guess you're just lucky."

"Lucky?" He scoffs.

"You are not dead." She sounds so sad and offended. All of a sudden he feels bad. She's right. The woman is right. He could've been like the other passengers and not wake up at all.

"Why are you here, Ziva," He had hoped to see her, but she told him herself she needed to free herself from everything in the past.

"You need me." It's all she said.

His disbelief now changes to a confused smirk, "You said you were my wife?"

"It was the only way they would allow me in. I'm sorry."

"Never say you're sorry. It's even a rule," he says it playfully. Her eyes roll. _She's being serious. Be serious!_ "Ziva. I'm glad you're here." He takes her hand in his. "Does Gibbs know?"

He shouldn't have asked. He remembers she wanted that 'clean break' from her past to include everyone. But it did seem, at the least, that she would call Gibbs. He was the father-figure she had always needed in her helplessness.

But she gulps down her pride, "I let him know. He would be here but there's a case and.. he trusts me to look after you until you are…." Tony squeezes her hand and she moves on, "I wanted to make sure you got back to D.C. safe, then it crashed. I took the next flight from Israel to be here…with you."

He closes his eyes to just relish this moment, with her (and also the light was getting too much for him).

"Tony. I am so sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"But it is! I should've gone with you."

"Why? So we'd both be in the hospital?"

Her hand pulls away from him and her arms cross over her chest.

Silence.

She walks out of the room, but not out of earshot. He is still so exhausted but up enough to hear what she says into her phone. He observes the body language; nervous, twitchy, unnerved. The watery eyes are ever so often wiped away, but she is composed.

He can hear her speak in English, so it's an American. _Well, either an American, an Australian, or a person from the U.K. who doesn't speak one of her other many languages. The woman is a walking Berlitz book, let's face it._ The conversation is about "a secret", "the problem", and "him." _She's having a conversation about him._ After careful consideration, he is almost certain she's speaking with someone from her former personal life. Maybe a man who's name begins with a G and ends with an s.

The next phone call she makes is made in Hebrew. This one is free of tears and business like. He takes this one in and over-analyzes each and every move she makes because even if he couldn't understand her, he could at least get an idea from her body language.

But he doesn't ask. Nor does she volunteer the information.

* * *

When she walks in, he smiles. She does the same.

"Welcome back."

She chuckles, not knowing what to say. What do you say to a person like him?

"I spoke with your doctor, he says that if you're up and moving by tomorrow, you could get discharged by Wednesday." He nods at the good news. "HR is handling the insurance and billing."

He shakes his head again. She's just filling time and getting rid of the vacant space made by unsaid words.

The company of this someone, next to him, meant more than words could describe in any language and in any country.

* * *

He surveys her from his peripheral. Her face is bare of makeup and wearing a black button down shirt. She's slowly walking back and forth, then she sits down in the chair by the window. Something is killing her on the inside. Something else. Something different. "Tony?"

"Yes?"

"I need to tell you something."

"I do too."

"You do?" He does. He wants to tell her again how much he loves her and what he would give up just to have the privilege to be her partner. In every sense of the word.

"I –"He closes his eyes for only a second but is pulled back to sleep.

She sighs, then solemnly smiles to the man in the bed, but before she exits to go back to her hotel, she softly whispers in his ear that she will see him in the morning. _There will be a tomorrow._

* * *

"ZIVA!" Tony yells her name when he is woken up from his nightmare. Once again, he spent the night in a terror of being trapped in that warehouse during a rainstorm. Every night it was the same dream. A bead of sweat runs down his back.

But there she is walking back into the room, a cup of coffee in her hand and a brown paper bag in her other hand. "Tony, are you okay?"

He breathes in relief. "Sorry, I…" He smells something warm and cinnamon scented. _"it's_ _nothing"_

She puts down her coffee and hands him the bag, it's still warm.

"I got you an apple muffin and a streusel." He takes it with an over joyous smile. She's pleased he likes her gift. A peace offering? Hell, he's just glad she's here, _again_.

"Ah, Ziva." He says, taking the muffin out of the bag. "Toda."

She raises an eyebrow at him, quite impressed. "Hm. Prego."

Suddenly that little two word exchange brings him back to the Ari days. When his partner was shot in the head by a cowardly act, thrown into hell fire, and only in the midst of rain and a pizza.

It was as if the roles had been reversed. Very odd. All of this is very odd.

After chomping down a good bit of muffin, he adjusts his pillow in the back of his head, "You were going to tell me something last night," he says. "What was it?"

 _Oh God_. Her face gets flush, heat around her neck and upper arms. So she devoids. "Well, you fell asleep, Tony."

"Yeah, I did."

"You wanted to tell me something as well?"

"Oh I just wanted to apologize." He simply states. "I don't want this," he motions between them, "to be awkward."

"Why would _this_ be awkward?" _Maybe because it is. Tell him. Tell him. Now._

"Oh I don't know, Ziva. I said goodbye to you in the most _Casablanca_ way. Not really expecting to see you again…"

"You did not expect to see me again?" Oh, she feels guilty again. Her stomach turns and this insinuation makes her feel dejected.

"I could only have hoped." He smiles sadly, "but you're here now." There is a hint of inflection in his voice when he speaks, "so what did you need to tell me?"

"Uh, I forgot" then taking a dramatic swig of her cup of warm coffee.

"For some reason I doubt that." For eight years working with her, by her, and because of her, he can tell when she's lying.

She bites her lip, _tell him. What if he runs away? Give me a break. He is in a hospital bed. In Europe. Thousands of miles away from his D.C. apartment._

He's still waiting for her to answer him. She thinks of running away, but that wouldn't be fair to him. He was in a major accident, after all. _Walking away from him now would be a chick move, no wait, that's not right. Dick move. It would be dick move._

 _What are you waiting for? Do it. Say it. He has to know._

"Remember, uh, before you left," she stutters.

"Yes." He moves his hands to make her continue.

"Well," she pauses, "it all happened so fast…" His facial expression shows how confused he is. _He's not getting the full picture here._ She sighs frustratingly, then paints it for him, "We had sex."

Now Tony's thinking back to _that_. Because Ziva's bringing it up now with that concerned look on her face. He's not sure how he should feel. I mean, it was great. Both of them could attest to that. "Okay…?"

She rubs her temple then walks over to his bedside, "Tony," for this explanation she has to adjust in her seat and uncross her legs, "what could happen if two people who have sex, are not careful?"

He furrows his brow. _Does she think she's talking to a child_? _Of course I know what happens! You know, when people do it. Psh._

 _Oh shit. Oh shit am I…is she telling me she's-_

 _"I'm pregnant, Tony."_

* * *

 ** _Interlude_**

There are no yelling matches and no tearful quandaries. She thinks about how she will now never be able to leave him and all he represents. It kills her a little bit inside because she knows she is broken.

 _This means he has to be-_

 _-This means I have to be_

"I am here for you."

 _He tells me this over and over again. The worst part is that I believe him. It would be so much easier if he could tell me to run away. Because that's what I want to do. But, I am still here. Sitting by his side, being a reflection of myself from some distant part in the former life._

 _"I know,"_ or so she says.

"I cannot go back to Israel."

"Why is that?" Perhaps his tone is too cheerful when he asks her, but there is no point of hiding now. _I never thought I could love someone this much. I thought I would spend the rest of my life full of regrets about letting you stay there. Now there is no other option but to stay with me and our….dare to say it, Anthony!_

"People want me dead." She says it too easily, this is concerning to him.

"Ziva, how are," he stutters, "but you-"

"I am fine."

"No you're not." Go figure.

"I risked a lot to come here. So, I can't just go back."

His left hand scratches at his scruff that grew during his stay, his eyes drift upwards then back to the woman, "Well, I guess that's all the more reason to stay with me."

"Oh, Tony, I don't think that's a very good idea."

"Well, I do," he demands, "You wanted to stay in Israel for reparation, to punish yourself-"

"I did it to _heal_!"

He moans, " _Right_." He watches her arms fold over themselves. "Listen, you can _heal_ surrounded by people who care about you." Before she can protest, he adds, "and don't tell me you don't deserve that much."

"I can't!"

"Well, YOU DON"T HAVE A CHOICE!" He hates that he yelled at her, but somethings never get really listened to unless a voice is raised.

Her mouth opens to say something in repute, but it closes. She knows he's right.

"You are right. I don't." She looks at him for a moment and decides to walk to his side. He's rubbing his calf at the moment, squinting at little traces of pain. "So, where do you want to go from here?"

He stops all movement, concentrating up at her. "Where do you want to go?"

"Honestly, I don't know."

"You're telling me that I've been here for over two weeks, and you haven't thought about _us_ once?"

"I did. But I distracted myself long enough to not think about it."

"Really?" He playfully pokes her stomach. She retaliates by softly slapping the back of his head.

"I only found out three days ago!"

He just beams at her beautiful face. "It's really sinking in now, Ziva."

"What is?"

"There's life growing inside you."

"Yes, that is how pregnancy works." Is Ziva getting back to her old self? Or, she could just be putting on a show.

"Are you okay with this?"

"For once, could you not ask me how I'm doing?"

"I'll stop when you tell me the truth."

Her eyes close. "I will be okay. _Eventually_." His warm hands wrap in hers, she smiles, "I'll be happier in eight to nine months."

"I know I'm excited." His thumbs strokes the back of her wrist.

"You get to be a father." Her other hand moves to her navel. "I have to admit, part of me thought you wouldn't be pleased."

"Are you kidding?"

"It's just that you have a career, a life, Tony."

"But does it make me happy?"

"Well, are you happy?"

 _You brought up the question. Answer her. Hell, it's your own question._

 _"_ No _."_ She's a little surprised by his answer. The man was an immaculate very special agent with outstanding investigative skills, how could he not be happy? And who could forget the playboy lifestyle he had become so accustomed to. "I've been doing the same thing for over a decade. I don't want my happiness to rely on my career."

"And you would be happy-"

"I will be happy being wherever you and the baby are." A smile tugs at her lips, and he jokes, "No pressure!"

" _Thank you._ " Her voice is so soft, almost to a whisper. They share a gaze and he kisses her hand.

"I've always thought about what you would look like as a mother. It wasn't that difficult to imagine." He thought back to the undercover picture where she was being fitted for a prosthetic.

* * *

Two days have come to pass; his luggage (thankfully) had been returned to him and he wasn't the only one ready to go home.

 _Home_.

His journey out of the hospital went without a hitch.

 _"Well, look at the bright side, Tony, at least you're_ walking _out of here."_

 _Through gritted teeth he adds, "Limping is not walking."_

* * *

 ** _Step 1_**

They're at the gate of JFK. It's cold and rainy. The atmosphere is not at all chaotic, but slower than one could have imagined. At times the flight over here they would fall into silence. Tony caught her eyes on him a few times, he turns to face her, she doesn't look away.

 _-I don't look away from him because I could pour my heart out right now until I have no blood in my arteries, but it's as if I don't need to._

They survived. Tony doesn't remember the crash, only the nightmares. The kind doctor told him he would be slowly retrieving bits and pieces of the crashes over time. They both hope that doesn't happen.

Ziva asks him if he would be okay flying, he counters with a nervous wry laugh. With an eyebrow raise and a huff-he knows she can see right through his bruised masculinity.

"Well, Senior should be here soon. You're not gonna go running off, are you?" It wasn't a real question and even if it was, she was too jetlagged to walk away now.

"No more running. No more hiding. That I promise," She makes her grip on his hands tighter, "Plus, I don't think you're health would benefit any if I did that, yes?"

"You're all in?" In some way or form, they're taking their chances at a poker game. Throwing the dirty dice and letting whatever side fold over and play itself out. _He's in._

"All in, Tony. No matter what happens."

 _What could happen? That we fall in way too deep? That my feet won't touch the ground one day so I'll never be able to touch the ground?_

"Great." His signature DiNozzo grin once again shines on his face, "Where shall we begin?"

"I think we already have."

 **A/N: Part 2 coming soon. WIP. Reviews much appreciated. Thank you for Reading! ~Tikvah**


	2. Recapitulation

**Struck Before Midnight** ** _Part II_**

 _I had to include some sort of mental illness-mostly because (I'm not even going to finish this sentence.) Remember the state Ziva was in when Tony tracked her down. The only thing I altered was the plane crash. I am assuming most of you can figure it out. Review_ \- c:

* * *

She's staring at herself in a foggy bathroom mirror; her hands gripping the edge of the cold granite countertop. As she slowly looks back up to herself, the churning starts again so she runs her wrists back under the cold faucet water. _Relax._

Being torn the past two days is starting to wear her down to the core. Like the tip of a pencil being rubbed to the nub, she feels the same.

One part of her loves being with him and her (ever-growing inside her) baby. The other part is manifesting all types of hatred, resentment, and regret. The worst part is that all of those emotions are aiming their sword towards her. The battlefield of the mind.

So she pushes him away, but still keeps him at arm's length.

And he understands.

 _After my father died, returning to these places seemed necessary._

 _It started off as a good thing, but then I saw Deena Bashan, and-_

This all can't be because of her.

 _No, it's not because of her._

 _It's because of me._

You had to kill Ari.

One person loving him doesn't change that.

 _Yes, but I loved him._

 _Just as I loved my father and my mother and Tali._

 _How can I not think that for every man I killed, there is someone out there crying for him?_

It's part of the job.

You gotta leave it at that.

 _Deena blamed me._

 _I thought that by going back to these places, I would somehow erase all of that, but each stop just made it clearer._

 _She was right._

 _The center of all this pain is me._

Ziva, this isn't you.

 _This is me, Tony._

 _This is what I made of myself._

 _But it's not who I wanted to be._

He knows that, as well.

* * *

Tony sits at his desk, waiting for the Bossman himself to get back from the director's lair. He sits and plays with the temporary replacement agent's multiple pens and trinkets by the keyboard and mouse. Most of Tony's items were still intact and in their respected drawer, except the Minimouse stapler. _Abby probably has it,_ he thinks.

"Thought you went home, DiNozzo."

He turns his head to look at his boss, a coffee cup in one hand, strolling through the center of the bullpen heading for his desk.

"Uh, no, I mean yeah, I was but-"Spare _the details. Get to the point._ "How did the meeting with Vance go?"

The older man nods and clicks a few times on his mouse.

"He's reluctant." Gibbs looks at the agent now up from his desk and now standing, staring down at his, urging him to give him more details. "But he's letting you start back on Monday."

"Really?" Tony breathes. "That soon?"

"What? Thought you wanted to get back on the horse."

"Fast horse," Tony nervously bites his lip.

"Something the matter, DiNozzo?"

"Hm? Oh, no. No."

With that remark, Gibbs pushes his chair back and moves to the center of the bullpen where Tony stands. All day, even in MTAC, Tony had been seen stuck in thought. His eyes drifting away when talking to someone. So uncharacteristically distracted.

"You gonna tell me what's eating at you or _do I have to rethink signing you off for duty_ ," he threatens.

"Absolutely not boss." He can see he's pushing the nerves of his leader. Yes he wants to start back at work. It's just that-

"Then what's the problem?"

"It's more like _who's the problem."_

Gibbs pinches his temple and warns him, "Tony."

"I'll take my shooting test again. I'll start on Monday," he quickly reassures the man, "but, I need to tell you something."

* * *

Ducky pours Gibbs a little ember into his glass and asks, "Jethro, did you get a good look at the poor boy? I imagine he's either a wreck or _worse_."

It's late, in the afterhours of autopsy and he's not letting up anytime soon. But then again, he's talking about family.

"He's one of the finest agent's I have ever worked with. This _situation_ isn't-"He stops in his track with tiring defeat.

"We know he is an exemplary employee, but you're not worried about that. I imagine that's why you're down here."

"Can't get anything by you, Duck." Gibbs sighs. "It's Ziva."

With interest, he probes the other man. " _Ziva_. With the bits and pieces I have gathered, I presume she's about 3 or 4 weeks. You should be happy, especially with the _special bond_ you have with her."

"Tony says she's not well. I saw her last night for half an hour. She wanted to get to bed before dinner and..."

"And you know it's not because she's tired."

"She needs to talk to someone. When she came back, she was not the same person."

"One of Mother's friends had the same problem after the war. Yes, if her fate is to be Ziva's, a professional would be able to help her. It is the wisest choice."

"You know Ziva, she wouldn't be caught dead in a doctor's office!"

The doctor nods his head and sits back in his chair, overlooking the lamp. "But, Jethro, remember she is not the same person. You said it yourself."

"You think because she's pregnant she'll go for it?"

The scientific method works for people too. After all we are one giant experiment. "She is no longer responsible for only herself. This even means her own punishment. Would she go to therapy for herself? Of course not. Would she go to see a doctor for Anthony or you? Probably not. But she would go if it meant the baby would benefit. You just have to make her see it that way. _She has to know you are on her side_."

"I am on her side."

"Then what are you still doing here?"

* * *

A week passes before she knows it. She's grateful that her father's inheritance is well more than enough for living without employment, but she looks for something _safer_ nonetheless.

All of Eli's personal files are digitized and sent to Ziva through courier. Her bank accounts are now closed in Israel and transferred to the US. However, she maintains citizenship in both countries to sidetrack the people who might want her father's files and her bloodshed. Her items are in storage outside the metro area, close to where her old apartment was. And…he's allowing her time to be by herself.

Oh, she is going through the motions but something holds her back. When he calls, she picks up. _I owe him that much,_ she thinks.

 _Ziva?_

"Yes, Tony."

 _You know you can stay here._

"I know."

 _But you're not going to._

 _"_ I just need a week.

Things are just moving really fast.

Tony, I promise you I will come back."

 _Aright, I trust you._

* * *

And then he calls her while she's in bed at the uptown hotel she checked into a couple days after she arrived in D.C. with a limping partner by her side.

 _You up?_

"Well, I answered. Did I not?"

 _Sorry, I just wanted to hear your voice._

 _I was able to get signed off for duty. Start Monday._

"Well, that's wonderful news. I am happy for you."

 _Thanks, Zee._

 _Hey are you coming back? The team misses you._

"I know.

I don't think I can go back.

You know that."

 _I figured as much. I meant desk work or an intelligence operative…_

"Look. Uh, Tony, I don't want to do this anymore. It's death, murder, hatred, crimes…"

 _I remember. And I support your decisions 100 percent. I hope you know that._

"I do.

And that does not mean I will not be seeing the team. Abby wouldn't be able to handle that."

 _Have you thought about it at all?_

"About what?"

 _Whether it's a boy or a girl?_

"Actually I have. Have you?"

 _Yeah. All the time._

 _What do you want?_

"I don't think we should hope for one gender or the other. I just want him or her to be happy and healthy."

 _Come on. I hope for my son or daughter to be those things, too. That's what all parents want. I'm asking you for your opinion. Don't leave me hanging!_

"Alright. Alright….

I wished for a girl."

* * *

Gibbs is the one that convinces her. As a man of few words, he does what he can. He mentions Shannon and Kelly, which brings Ziva to tears. She mutters that it's only the hormones, but Gibbs assures her an explanation isn't necessary.

Along with twice a week therapy sessions (once a week with a group and once one-on-one), she is put on the standard Fluoxetine and Zyprexa combo.

 _Medication is only a band aide,_ she and her therapist both agree.

Luckily, there are far more Israeli's in her area than she thought. All of them have military experience. Most of the have not killed in duty, but they all have suffered in some way or another. She meets three of them through the synagogue she stops in one day.

She breaks down at the end of one service, when all of the people have left except for a few still sitting in silent prayer. An older woman, who works at the Pentagon, sits beside her and learns about her.

She is showered with affection and encouragement. The fact that she had served dutifully for the nation of Israel gives her a story to tell at a women only brunch hosted by the older lady.

* * *

The next day, a Sunday morning, Ziva shows up to Tony's door with her bag beside her. He was getting ready to go to a physical therapy appointment. She knows this because Tony told her in one of their phone conversations.

She had a lopsided smile on her face when he opened the door a little wider to let her in.

 _Well, she seems…content…better… I just hope she won't snap my head off if I say or do something. I really shouldn't be walking on eggshells. That wouldn't be me. But I have been waiting for her all week, to see her. Oh, she's here. I wish I had a dog. You know the type of type that runs up and licks you all over. Wait a minute, I hate dogs. They tried to kill me once (or twice). What the hell has gotten into me? I think-_

"Hi," she says rubbing her arms. Suddenly it got chilly.

"Hey," he says so wistfully. Then he takes a seat back on the couch with his phone. "Take a seat."

Per his instructions, she swallows, puts her bag down on the floor, and sits next to him.

 _Make her comfortable. This should be her home. We will be spending a lot of time together because, uh, we kinda have to. But I mean we could enjoy it. Just don't do anything stupid. You're going to be a father, DiNozzo. Get your head in the game!_

"I'm waiting for an e-mail right now. Back to work stuff." He places his phone down on the table in front of them. "How have you been?"

"Better," she states. _Why can't I look at him the way I used to? We're not coworkers anymore, we're partners but in a new way. Don't make this uncomfortable. He's doing what he can. You should too._

"I'm happy to hear that." He turns his body so he can face her. She smiles but it's no secret she feels like the spotlight is on her. "So…"

"So…" She waits for him to say anything. When he doesn't, she decides to take a leap of faith. "I do not want _this_ to be difficult." He understands. " _We_ should talk…"

"We're talking now," he says with a warm smile. She can't help but to follow suit and a similar smile graced upon her lips.

"Yes. We are. I just wanted to know how we will make this work."

He sighs and thinks for a few seconds. _I know what I want; but what does she want._ He sees her face and those coco pools. They exchange a look then he takes his palm to her soft, olive cheek. She can't help but to lean into his touch.

"All we need to know is that it _will_ work, alright Ziva?" He lowers his hand to hers and takes them lightly. "You know, while I'm getting my groove back at PT, why don't you look for a more _suitable_ space?"

"You want to move?"

"Well yeah. This is only a one bedroom. I don't see how this is practical anymore."

She shrugs loosely, "well, if you insist." She looks around at the very upscale condo and smirks, "You love this place, Tony."

"Yeah, I do. Some good ones, some bad." _He thinks back to the bullet that went through his window._ "Remind me to pay the little girl down the hall." Ziva gives him a confused look, "Kate, my fish."

"Oh. I see."

"Yeah," then going back into his mind space full of wondering thoughts, "You like dogs, right?" She nods slowly, "Okay, criteria for our place: dog friendly."

"Tony, you hate dogs."

"I could get used to 'em."

"You should get used to a human baby first" she persists.

He jokes, "aren't they, like, the same?"

Ziva hits him in the shoulder causing him to wince melodramatically. _Typical Tony,_ she thinks.

* * *

A week later, after a full day of apartment hunting, Tony finds himself walking down the stairs to Gibbs's basement.

He hasn't even looked up from his boat when the man greets the special agent.

"How'd ya know it was me?"

The older man nearly shrugs, "figured you'd be coming by." He heads for his workbench to pour out a glass holding nuts and bolts and fill it with half an inch of golden bourbon. Tony thanks him and takes a sip; bitter and just right. Not for the faint of heart.

"You know by now that Ziva, uh-"

"Pregnant? With your kid? Yeah, I know."

Oh, how Tony feels like Palmer; with the 'lost in words', stuttering 'get back on topic' look. And Gibbs, with that derailing glare of silent judgment. For the autopsy gremlin that look howled at him to stop talking. Well, Tony needs to _keep_ talking before he gets a head slap.

"Right. Well. I guess I need advice. Didn't know who else to turn to."

Gibbs leans against his boat and folds his arms over. He points to the metal stool near his work table. "Sit." Tony takes a seat with the glass in his hands.

"We've been looking for places to live… _together._ I'm more than happy about it, I just feel she's holding back," he explains. "I mean Ziva is getting better at this 'working together' thing but it feels more _friendship_ than, uh..."

" _Relationship?_ Yeah, expect that, DiNozzo. It's called pregnancy," he shows a little smirk.

The agent nods, "Of course." Suddenly, he feels a little more at ease. _Get a biology book, go to the chapter of pregnancy. Now, look at all the changes and biological travesties going on inside the woman's body. Oh God, stop thinking about it. It'll give you nightmares. Great, now I'm thinking about it. Sleep well tonight, dumbass._

"So you're looking for an apartment…"

"Uh, yeah, I put Ziva in charge of scouting out places. I would myself, but I want her to be happy with where we end up."

"Sounds like you really want Ziva to be _happy."_

 _Of course I do. Why would he even..._ "I love her. Is that a bad thing?"

"No. You have to give 100 percent and she has to give 100 percent. That's the only way it'll work."

Okay, he does have some credibility. He may not be an expert on lasting (post-first) marriages, but he does know how they end. With his record, he's a few short of becoming a guru on the matter.

"I know we both are. We're _trying._ "

"Geared up for the long-haul?"

"Yes."

"And the feelings are mutual?" Gibbs asked with squinted eyes. He's a guy who focuses on facts not feelings along with other abstract ideas.

Tony feels like he's being interrogated, "Yes, boss."

Gibbs exhales, scratches his head, and straightens his back. "Screw the apartment. Get a house."

Tony feels a shiver run down his spine. _A house?_ "What? I means that's a good idea. But-"

"Seems too _permanent_?" Without Tony responding the man continues with mild frustration and a raised volume, "What the hell ya think a child is, DiNozzo?"

"Hey! I know that having a kid is something that requires…," he thinks for a second, " _stability, permanency, and all that…"_

"Or are _you too scared_?"

"No!" then lowers his volume, "I'll have to talk to Ziva about that."

"Ziva's scared too. Can't expect her to make a decision like that by herself," his boss reminds him.

"I know." Tony puts the glass down on the wood work bench. "Is it normal to be, ya know… _a little scared?"_

Gibbs genuinely smiles slightly, remembering Kelly. "Tony, I have never met a soon to be parent who didn't have a little fear in their gut. If you didn't, then there'd be something to worry about."

 _Reassurance. Oh, how it feels so good._ "I want to be a good dad _and whatever it is_ Ziva wants me to be to her."

"You will. Trust me," Gibbs assures. "Now, when it comes to Ziva... hey, if you two work as hard at parenting like you worked together in the field, then you have nothing to worry about."

"Thanks boss." They shake hands and Gibbs gives him a couple pats on the back.

* * *

At eighteen weeks, she finds a job at a non-profit organization (she wants to feel like she's done constructive efforts rather than destructive.) And, she finds a cute, four bedroom house with a sizable backyard in an outskirt of Arlington.

The night after putting down the down payment, they find themselves sleeping together for the third time since Israel.

They don't make out heatedly and restrict themselves to only a few affectionate kisses (and it's not because they don't want to). They realize the need to focus on _each other_ and _their_ needs are way more important.

Plus, they will have all the time on the world.

For now, she finds a warm pillar of strength lying next to her. When she wakes up her head is on his shoulder and he's is a state like she's never seen him before; so relaxed, so domestic, so Tony. _And she is so happy she decided to make this her life. He has helped change her and he has changed, just like he said he would. Oh, how she loves him; the greatest friend she has ever known._

* * *

Abby Sciuto is not one to keep her excitement in check. She just has to hop up and down or clasp her hands, clap a little, or even learn to knit. _The happiest goth you'll ever meet._

 _"But, it's just you and Ziva. Ziva and you, oh!, and a little bitty baby. Oh my gosh. I have to get you guys a cute baby outfit. Do you know what it is yet? Mm! doesn't matter, I know a great place to get a bunny –_

 _"Abby."_

 _"-goth bunny outfit. Have you talked to Ziva yet? Duh! Of course you have! I mean you did more than talking of course! The whole baby thing could vouch for that-"_

 _"Abby!"_

 _"She's like this super ninja with style. And, like, a shower? She's gotta have a shower! I don't want to make her uncomfortable or anything so maybe just mention it tonight or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Which ever day is goo with you-"_

 _"ABBY"_

 _"Yes Tony?"_

 _"Were you able to get a match on the shell casings?"_

* * *

At 19 weeks, Tony gets a call from Ziva. When he answers her with a genuine "hey, sweety", McGee reminds himself that he's still getting used to his coworker (and friend) being in a relationship with Ziva, another friend and former coworker ( _ok, it's more than that, how and when did it happen, when did it even start? Were they an item the whole time?_ He thinks.)

"Wait, you mean _now_?"

 _Yes, I mean now. The appointment opened up and I thought you would want to be there when I find out._

"Well, of course I do, Z."

 _Then get your butt over there. Unless, you want to keep the appointment we have next week, find out then?_

"No! no. Sooner the better. Meet ya over there."

When he puts his phone down, a slow smile forms on his face. His head is focused on the many buttons on his phone, primarily the blinking light for 'call waiting'.

 _Wow. Just wow. She's-_

"DiNozzo!"

The voice comes from three feet away, where Gibbs stands looking directly at him.

"I asked you if you had to be somewhere."

"Oh right? Sorry, lost in thought," he explains. "I have to, uh, appointment, Ziva-"

"I know. She called me. Go! Family first."

 _Family First._

He scurries to get his keys, phone, and wallet. He locks a stack of files in his bottom drawer, smiles to McGee, Ellie, and Gibbs. And it's only the beginning.

* * *

 **A/N: Part 3 coming soon. One word: Tali.**


	3. CODA

**_A/N: It's been a while. I'll be quite honest, it was hard writing this. So it may not be fantastic._**

 **Struck Before Part III**

 _You don't have to do this alone. Come back to DC with me._

The first thing on my new list was, "I will let go of the badge."

 _I'm not talking about NCIS. Listen, you can bag groceries, for all I care. Just come home. Just..._

 _I just want you to come home... with me._

I don't think that's a ver—

 _Hey, listen, I know it's hard..._

 _...and I know you want to change. I can change with you._

 _I'm fighting_ for you _, Ziva._

I know.

If it weren't a death battle where the only man she loved could have died with a severed heart and broken body in a plane colliding with the earth, she would have come back some way or the other.

Every morning she wakes up knowing there is love in abundance inside her and next to her, made with a man whom she trusts with her life. They fight,

 _I hate you. I love you. I love you. I hate you. I hate how much I love you._

They fight for each other. Immediately after hurting her, or she hurting him (which she knows she had done far too many times) they build the bridge back up with stronger rivets and a taller ledge.

* * *

She mentions Purim; he mentions Mardi Gras. She rolls her eyes; He blinks and swears he's only joking around.

They sit at a French café in downtown DC. She finishes off a chocolate croissant, sips on an iced coffee, and checks her email once more. She laughs at a cat meme sent by a new friend at work. When she looks up to see what he's doing, her eyes catch his.

"What?"

He crosses his arms and leans back a little, observing.

"You're happy."

She smiles slightly then frowns, "That a bad thing, Tony?"

"No." Now he looks embarrassed. "It's just. No. It's a good thing."

"Good." Her smile appears again.

* * *

The four walls are painted a light, but welcoming yellow. A series of floating shelves hold various toys, including a stuffed dog. On a small round table by a rocking chair is a sculpture of the commandments given to Moses on Mt. Sinai. And let's not forget to mention the pink flowers on the wall with nice green stems and leaves. Everything worked so well with the white canopy hanging over the crib, which Gibbs had his hand in crafting.

She was at the closest point in her faith since her mother's death.

He thinks about going back to religion, maybe then he could make some sense out his life.

He talks to God on his way to work, over the sound of jackhammers and bulldozers. One night, he feels an atmospheric change, his hair stands up, and he thanks the serene presence for allowing him to live for all he has now.

 _I'll never take it for granted-the gifts you have given me._

* * *

She takes maternity leave just shy of 8 months. Although she hates it, actually she resents it. She loves being on her feet, working, getting things done. How will she get anything done when her own boss won't allow her to work?

"Ziva, hey, I approved your request through fmla. So I will see you in July!"

"Wait a second! My leave was not to start until the end of the month."

"I set it to start earlier. Oh, don't give me that look. Girl, you look so uncomfortable walking down these halls. When I gave birth to Trev and Noah I would have loved an extra week or two just by myself."

"Well, I appreciate that. But, it wasn't your decision.

"Yeah. Yeah it was. Like I said, _enjoy this time off!_ "

"Fine. But, I'm not going to thank you."

"You can thank me later."

This new life and the life she's about to deliver into the world, its _change_. It's beautiful and scary all at the same time.

* * *

It's a stormy Thursday night, she's in bed reading a book on the Beatitudes (something her rabbi would scold her on), but curiosity got the cat, she supposes over hot tea.

She hears the sound of a key at the backdoor around an hour to midnight. She knows it's him, so there's no need to greet him and sacrifice the warm bed. However, with her acute hearing she can hear his mood before she even sees him; his gate is slower and more downtrodden suggesting he's in a state of exhaustion. She puts down her book, wraps a throw around herself and walks to where he sits in the kitchen.

"Hey," she whispers.

After hearing her voice, oh how sweet it is, he turns away from the kitchen window, where fresh rain garnished the view of the street, to look for her. He's silent but her gentle touch to his arm gives him encouragement.

"Ziva," he breathes out and looks back and forth between walls. He finds her face once more, "What did I tell you. Tell me what I told you, Ziva…"

"When?"

"You know. _Back in Israel_." The last part is almost whispered. His palm slides down his face and over his mouth. "I'm tired."

She grabs his hands and pulls him a little. "Come on. You need sleep."

"No." He stops following her, she notices and frowns.

"No?"

So many things were going through his mind. It seemed like a dark hurricane in between the ears. How should he start? Would she understand? Oh, of course she would.

"I told you I would change."

"Yes…" She wonders which way he would be going with this. "You did. You have, Tony." She notices his breath hitching like he was on the verge of imploding.

"It's not enough."

"It is for me." _Please open your mouth. Say words._

He breathes in and out, "Tonight was tough." She waits for him to explain. "We were called out to a crime scene where the whole family was shot in cold blood. I walked the halls, saw the mom and the dad and the 10 year old son. Isaac. The family had just gotten home from his basketball game. Then, just when I had seen enough. I walked into this nice bedroom, saw the two year old just _lying_ there in the crib."

He closes his eyes and rub away the moisture building up in them.

She tries to grab hold of him, "Tony."

He lets out a short, heated bawl with his palms to his head.

"I am supposed to be strong, take everything professionally. How the hell am I supposed to do that when every photo I take become so personal?!" He stops to almost get a grip. Almost.

"I never thought it would tear me up inside to see…to see a completely innocent life taken away by some lowlife scum!"

"It's part of the job. And _you_ can find the bastard and shoot him yourself."

"That's just it. You left it all- the gun, the badge, the midnight coffee breaks. That's how you changed. I changed by becoming more of myself. Well… What if…"

"You're wondering if you should give up the badge."

"Well, yeah…not for me. _For her_." He points to her abdomen. She looks down and back up to his face.

"Tony, you should do what you think is right."

She searches his eyes and sees something in them that beckons her to embrace him. She sees the worry and the weakness in his face. _This is life._

A series of thunder and lightning adds more deepness to the situation for which he found himself in.

"I need you. I need you to tell me it's going to be okay. That everything will be okay. We will be okay."

"We _will_ be okay."

He takes a shower, dries off, and dresses in a black tee and sweatpants. The usual.

He's surprised he doesn't find her in the bed; instead of calling for her, he walks into the dark yellow-walled room. She smiles from across the room seated in a white rocking chair. He walks over to put his hand over her middle. The warmth of his hand and the smile on smile on his face gave Ziva the urge to place a kiss on his lips.

"I love you."

* * *

 _"_ _Tali."_

 _"_ _I like it."_

 _"_ _You do? We can debate it some more if you want."_

 _"_ _Why? It's perfect."_

 _"_ _It is. Isn't it?"_

* * *

"After her sister?"

"Uh, yeah, McBlivious." Tony is standing beside Tim's desk with a coffee cup in his hand.

"You didn't want her named something _more…"_

"More what? You better watch it. You're talking about my kid here."

Tim shuffles in his seat, "You know, it's kinda poetic. Lost life transforming itself into new life."

Tony observes Tim's 'thinking' face then notices he's about to write something down.

"Oh , no, no. Are you thinking about making this whole thing a book?"

"Are you kidding? This is gold! You surviving a plane crash after two star-crossed lovers bid farewell-"

"We are not _star-crossed_ lovers!"

Tim smugly grins and leans back in his chair, "well, not anymore."

Ellie snorts and Tony just glares at her.

"Grab your gear!"

Gibbs comes marching into to the bullpen with the typical b-line to his desk. DiNozzo, Bishop, and McGee all huddle by the elevator and wait for the older man.

"DiNozzo."

"Boss."

"I like the name."

With that, the father-to-be smiles knowing he has the grandfather's approval.

* * *

 _"_ _I am fat."_

 _"_ _Aww, you're still sexy."_

 _"_ _I'm sorry, Tony, but if you go near me I will murder you."_

 _"_ _Like with a paperclip? OWW!"_

 _"_ _Like I said."_

* * *

June turns to July.

" _Tony_... Tony!"

With a grunt and a cough, he yawns out a "whuu?"

"My water just broke."

His eyes widen. It's sinking in. The sheets were wet on her side of the bed. She's due at any moment.

"Oh. OH MY GOD!"

He jumps then falls off the bed.

"Are you okay?"

"NO! YES! I WILL BE." He gets up and jets to the closet to grab the 'baby time go bag' and her shoes. "ARE YOU OKAY?"

"How about you stop yelling then I will be okay."

* * *

 _"_ _She's gorgeous."_

 _"_ _She's perfect."_

 _"_ _Hi Tali. I'm Anthony. Your dad."_

 _"_ _See? She already loves you."_

 _"_ _Well, she loved you first, Ziva."_

* * *

Senior takes a gander at his granddaughter and instantly starts thinking of even more ways to spoil her.

 _"_ _This is a DiNozzo, son. If I hadn't told you yet, I'm proud of you.. You did good."_

 _"_ _Thanks dad."_

* * *

And as the sun sets, the sun rises.

They sit together one early Sunday morning after the baby reaches 6 weeks. He reaches over Ziva's lap to take the sleeping baby and put her in the infant seat. They both are exhausted, but she smiled nonetheless.

"We got this," he whispers, leaning in just enough for his breath to get captured in her soft curly locks.

She winks at him, not really wanting to speak. A mutual understanding that she was too drained to open her mouth and risk having the baby wake.

So he reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a silver band with a simple diamond setting and two smaller princess cut diamonds on the sides. He had been holding onto it for nearly three months. Hiding it from her was easier than he'd expected, considering she was a ninja and trained in all areas of 'hide-and-seek'. Now that he thinks about it, maybe she already knew about it.

She notices the gleaming metal and gem stones; her sleepiness dissipates and her eyes widen and mouth gapes, then closes.

"We don't have to do this now, this year, or next year…but…" He rubs that back of his scalp.

"Tony, are you…?"

He swallows and shyly smirks. "Ziva, I know we're not exactly _normal_ …but what _we_ have going is something unique…like us. And you can take this as a proposal or a promise..."

She just stares at him and then back to the ring. "Please say yes."

"Tony, you want to marry me?"

"I can't think of any other person. And it's not because of Tali. Well, it is. But she's not the only reason. I love you. I am totally completely devoted to you. I want to be with you all the time and when I'm not I count down the hours until I can see you again." He softly holds her fingers in his and puts the ring in her palm. Her choice to put it on or not. "I may have made mistakes in the past, pushed you, but I've been beside you. You and Tali are everything to me. My family. If you feel the same-"

"I do. I mean, I feel the same way."

He chuckles slightly, "then put it on. Show me that you're not going to come to your senses and run away with some other handsome intelligent federal agent."

"You speak highly of yourself, agent DiNozzo."

He lightly shrugs, but nudges her again, "Say yes. Say yes and I will spend the rest of life proving to you how much I want this."

"You don't have to do that. I already know you are a good, sweet, caring man." She flips the ring over in her palm and slides it onto her finger. " _And I love you_."

 _Yes._ Her right palm slowly slides down his scruff; her eyes look up into his longingly. He's about to say how much he wants to stay like this forever, but she pulls him close. Two smiles embrace for a tender kiss.

He holds her in his arms as they look on to what they created. Together.

Something proved fatal for others, were life giving for others. For people like them, it takes a catalyst of disagreeing rough waves, to get the tide to the shore.

 ** _A/N: (after publish) There were a few of you that expressed this would story if I published a little bit more. So, there will a story in this universe._**


End file.
